#5

So in case you've been living under a rock or been completely drunk for the past week, something happened in Haiti. Magnitude 7.0, 200,000 dead etc. So make sure you donate http://www.google.com/relief/haitiearthquake/ or you'll go to hell like this twat:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8XJ3F9_GGw&feature=related

So speaking of shit that is making our world unbearable, Conan O'Brien has been cancelled. For those who don't know the 'sitch' let me fill you in. Jay Leno had The Tonight Show and Conan O'Brien had the Late Night Show on afterwards. Jay Leno said he was retiring so Conan moved up to the Tonight Show and Jimmy 'Unfunny Motherfucker' Fallon sucked enough dick to get the Late Night Show. But now Jay Leno is being a whiny bitch and he says he wants the Tonight Show back. What no one seems to understand is that Conan O'Brien is basically the only funny thing left on NBC. So since NBC is Leno's bitch, he's getting his show back and Conan O'Brien is getting the boot. But it's not all bad, he gets $40,000,000 out of it. Yes, that's seven fucking zeros.

On Saturday night, I tried to go see Avatar. Not that I wanted too but seeing as so many people jizzed their pants at the special effects I figured I'd give it a shot. So I get there an hour early and its sold out. A month after it's released it's sold out. And it's taken in over $1,000,000,000. That's nine fucking zeros. James Cameron is probably pulling a Scrooge McDuck right now and diving into a pool full of money. Anyways afterwards I went back and watched Saturday Night Live with Sigourney Weaver as a host. She did a good enough job, except for: ARM FLAPS!

FLY, FLYING SQUIRREL, FLY!!!

Peace.