#8

As of most of my readers, I too thought this blog was finished. It went the way of the dinosaurs, disco and Patrick Swayze. (Death.) However, once in a while an event so tremendous happens that even the dead must awaken to pitch in their useless opinion. What was this event? Was it Pan-Arabic revolutions? Was it James Franco hosting the Oscars baked out of his humble, little tree? No.

This event happened at 11:00 EST on Monday, February 28th. It was the release of a video comparable to 2 girls 1 cup in regards to how primordially weird-as-anything-imaginable it is. Ladies and gentlemen, here it is:

First of all, I'm am 99% she described the creation myth of the Church of Scientology in her prologue. Secondly between 0:44 and 1:03, I was confused. Was that supposed to be erotic on a Freudian level or repugnant? I experienced both for whoever was curious.

Also, Ms. Gaga seems to be comfortable in showing her face in this video instead of blocking it. Like here:

I however am completely not cool with seeing Lady Gaga's unshielded face. Totally not cool.

At least Ke$ha knows to hide her abomination.

Blech. Speaking of trashed sluts. Britney Spears has done the impossible. She's ruined dubstep. Now I must admit I've had quite a love affair with the 'step. Long nights with Rusko, Bar9 and Excision. Mmmmm... But she's destroyed dubstep. FML. For proof go to 2:14 in the video below.

So go on Britney Spears and Ke$ha. Keep ruining good things. I implore you. However, a group of awesome people have made a good thing better. Jersey. Shore. Porn. Parody.

Jersey Whores.

Not only is this earthshatting, it made me realize that there is an actual job that involves a guy making witty porn parody names. Here are a select few:

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Poon

13 Going Down on 30

Edward Penishands

There's Something Inside Mary

Savouring Ryan's Privates

But I must make one final point to this blog. Congratulations Lady Gaga. You are now the weirdest person in the universe. She even beat this guy.

And finally I'm gonna post my awesome song of the week:

These guys are playing at Coachella and I really wish I could go. Maybe as a music journalist. Too bad Rolling Stone magazine doesn't scour Blogger for talent. Whattashame.

Peace.